Bury Me Gently in a Field of Flowers
by Vhaenya
Summary: "Tell me," Hawks' voice is like honey- smooth and almost sickly sweet, "What do you like about me the most?" Dabi can see that shit eating grin, even if he wasn't looking at the hero- the smugness dripping off of that question is nearly enough to make him drown. Dabi mulls over how it would feel to drown in a vat of honey. He concludes that it couldn't be the worst way to go.
1. Chapter 1

The muted television throws Dabi's room into a soft blue light as he lies in his bed, watching the smoke from his cigarette curl and twist up into the air before fading. He raises the cigarette before his face and turns it this way and that, silently studying the small ember eating away the cigarette- leaving only ash in its wake. A small part of the cherry falls against his bare chest and with a sigh, he wipes it away. A long time ago, he became desensitized to the bite of heat. He snuffs it out against the ash tray next to him before he accidentally starts a fire. Shigaraki made it pretty clear that the next time he falls asleep with a lit cigarette, the expenses are coming out of his pay check.

Dabi didn't bother to remind Shigaraki that he doesn't even get paid. Instead, he did his normal eye roll and snide comment before stalking into the dark confines of his room.

He turns his head lazily to the side and blearily looks for the blinking clock that sits on top of his television. It takes a moment or two for his tired and strained eyes to focus and read the time, of course it's only half past midnight. He feels like it's been eighty-four years since he's tried to get some shut eye but in reality, it's only been an hour and a half.

A flash of red on his television draws his attention from his clock and his hand itches to find a lost remote to turn up the volume. With no luck, Dabi shrugs and just lies in silence while watching footage of an all too familiar hero soar through the sky.

It turns out it must be some sort of documentary on heroes because for the next half hour, he stays still- transfixed by the short snippets of a much younger Hawks. His brain slowly processes the fact that Hawks was just a teenager when he started rising ranks like a sky rocket and seeing him without his stubble is rather amusing to him. In almost all videos shown of him, he's always smiling or laughing, Dabi can't help but to feel the curving of his own smile.

His smile falls with the next shift of footage and taking up his whole television screen is the stern face of his father staring back at him with disapproval.

Dabi turns his back to the television and closes his eyes.

His dreams are nothing but petite flowers with soft purple veins that run up delicate snow white petals. Slowly, the flowers start to wilt before him and in their place is nothing but a raging and ravenous sea of orange fire.

* * *

A raven crows and hops around the quiet street, Dabi observes as it pecks curiously at a discarded bag of chips before it hops off around the corner. He shifts his weight to his left leg and checks the time on his burner phone, he can't arrive on time; he's started a game of how late he can arrive to his meetings with Hawks.

It's the little things in life that keep him amused and an overly huffy Hawks is always the best remedy for his boredom.

* * *

"Y'know, one of these days," Hawks pauses- taking a bite out of his burger, "I'm just gonna up and fly away. Making me wait an hour, really? Didn't your mother teach you basic manners?"

"Clearly yours never taught you to not speak with your mouth full of food." A gloved hand wipes at the mess around his mouth and waves the burger around with his other hand.

"Well, _excuse me_ Your Royal Highness." Hawks snorts at Dabi's middle finger given in reply and rolls back his shoulders, giving his large wings a few flaps to work out the cramped muscles.

"Let's get this show on the road! I got places to be and people to see, whatcha need?" Somewhere deep down, there's a twinge in Dabi's heart at that. He tries not to dwell on this new surfacing feeling and instead takes his time to respond, only to waste more of Hawks' time. Dabi takes out a crumpled piece of paper that Shigaraki gave to him earlier and tries to decipher the barely legible scrawl. He closes his eyes and tries to remember what they went over at their meeting prior but as usual, Dabi couldn't be bothered to pay attention. Now he's standing here in a dark alley, trying to decipher writing that could easily be mistaken for an entire different language.

Dabi crumples the paper further and wills his fire to ignite, he glances up from the flaming ball of paper to see Hawks finishing the last of his burger- not taking his gaze from the fire in Dabi's hand. Azure fire is mirrored in Hawks' bright golden eyes and Dabi swallows thickly before dropping the paper to the ground. Thankfully, remembering the reason why he called Hawks out on such short notice.

"We got a deal coming in and we need to make sure that you keep your hero friends outta the way."

"I've been working with you guys for how long now? Why do I get all these boring lookout jobs. I'm the Number Two! I got connections and skills that probably half of your League don't even got, use me to your advantage." Dabi doesn't dwell on Hawks' choice of words and merely shakes his head.

"All the more reason not to trust you. I can't just have the Number Two waltz in like it's not big deal. You gotta convince me before you get to meet the rest of us and work with us on missions. So, for now." Dabi pauses and peers down at Hawks- a frown is tugging down at a corner of the winged hero's mouth, creating a dimple. "Just be thankful that we're even letting you work with us." Dabi tastefully leaves out the part that they actually need all the help that they can get.

Best not to look desperate when trying to impress.

Hawks does not look impressed.

"Fine," Hawks relents with a groan and looks up at him expectantly waving a hand as if to tell him to continue, "Gimme the rundown so I can figure something out."

* * *

Of course the deal goes without a hitch, as Hawks said- he's got connections and he knows how to use them to his advantage. Within a ten mile radius, the whole area was like a ghost town: void of nearly everything and everyone.

It seems that Dabi is the one to be impressed.

Of course he doesn't voice that, what kind of smooth criminal would he be if he were to tell Hawks that? Instead, he nods and tells the winged hero that he did "a satisfactory job."

"Only satisfactory? You're killin' me here, smalls." Hawks complains, throwing his arms over the railing and letting them dangle listlessly. Dabi cracks a smile down at Hawks, who doesn't catch on to his smile because he's pouting at the bustling nighttime life of the city below them.

"I suppose there's always next time that you can do a better job." That only earns him a golden glare before Hawks sighs with an air of dramatics, running a hand through his windblown hair.

"Or maybe," There's a pause and Hawks grins up at him, "You just miss my handsome face and that's why you always call me out here."

"As if." Dabi scoffs.

"It's alright, your secret is safe with me." Hawks finishes with a wink. Dabi chuckles darkly, shaking his head.

"You're pretty delusional."

"See? You just called me pretty."

"Now you're just sounding desperate. I said that you're delusional, all that flying must be ruining your hearing."

"Psh, you're only jealous because my quirk is way more kick ass than yours. I have total freedom up there; nothing but me, the clouds and an occasional airplane." Dabi leans against the railing, his arms folded up and he tuts.

"Yeah. Sure. You must have a _whole_ bunch of freedom being the dog for the government."

"Wow. Low blow." Hawks' phone pings and with a deft movement, he checks it- clicking his tongue, "As much as I like to shoot the shit with you, I gotta bounce." With that, Hawks unfurls his massive red wings- giving them a few warm up flaps before launching himself up into the night sky with ease. He shoots Dabi a quick peace sign before flying away.

Dabi watches as a single downy carmine feather floats down almost lazily in front of him. He doesn't know what drives him to do it, but he reaches out to it and grasps it between his fingers. It's soft and flutters against the wind as he turns it this way and that, inspecting it.

Before he realizes what he's doing, he gently puts the feather into his pocket and slinks off towards the fire escape. An itching cough makes its way up through his throat and he reminds himself to cut back on the cigarettes.

* * *

It's only when he's back at the hideout that he even remembers about the feather in his pocket. Dabi takes a look around the barren bar and takes it back out, it seems to glow in the dim lights of the bar.

"Oh, what's that?" Toga leans over Dabi's shoulder and contently studies the feather like a cat observing a mouse.

"Found it on the ground." There was no way in hell that Dabi was going to admit to Toga where he really got it from.

"Can I have it?"

"Uh-"

"It's my favorite color! Please?" He quickly puts the feather away before she can try to take it and shakes her off, standing up- towering over her.

"Find your own feather, girl."

* * *

Even in the darkness of his room, he still can't take his mind off of the feather and he feels like he's starting to go crazy. His irritated thoughts are cut short when there's another itch in his throat. Dabi feels like he's coughing up a lung.

"Either die already or shut the fuck up, I'm trying to sleep." Shigaraki bangs on the wall, his muffled complain makes Dabi flip off the wall. Thankfully, the itching settles and he feels like he can breathe again. He lies back down on his mattress and closes his eyes.

* * *

"Tell me," Hawks' voice is like honey- smooth and almost sickly sweet, "What do you like about me the most?" Dabi can see that shit eating grin, even if he wasn't looking at the hero- the smugness dripping off of that question is nearly enough to make him drown. For a fleeting heartbeat, Dabi mulls over how it would feel to drown in a vat of honey. He concludes that it couldn't be the worst way to go.

Seconds seem to slip away from betwixt Dabi's fingers and he fights to keep an unassuming expression as he watches, in internal horror, Hawks' sporting grin beings to slyly curve upwards in amusement. A small voice in the back of Dabi's mind tells him to just punch the hero and abscond- a dramatic escape from the conversation yes, but at what cost? Retorts the slightly smaller voice of reason.

Possibly for the first time in his life, he decides to listen to his, albeit small, form of conscience.

He supposes that he can thank himself later for _not_ giving Hawks a black eye.

Dabi pushes down the second urge to bolt and instead fishes through his jacket for a crumpled and nearly empty pack of Camel Crush. If Dabi wants to play this right, he'll have to be a pain in the ass. Which, by all means, isn't that hard for him to achieve anyway. He takes a quick side glance at his winged companion before igniting his cigarette and using his other hand to brush his hair from his face. He makes a mental note to have Toga trim his hair later, it's starting to get too long for his liking. If he continues to let it grow, Shigaraki will probably antagonize him later for trying to copy him.

"Well?" There's a playful lilt in Hawks' question and Dabi exhales a puff of smoke before giving the hero his own wry smirk.

"I guess I'll have to say it's when you actually shut the fuck up." He snorts as Hawks' amber eyes narrow and his cheeks puff out in what he can only assume is in offense? Defiance? Annoyance? Really, the possibilities are endless. Before he can really pinpoint Hawks' mannerisms, he watches as Hawks regains composure with an easy smile.

"Y'know," Hawks begins- eyeing Dabi's cigarette, "Being so salty must be bad for your health."

"What are you? My mom?"

"Well that would be a bit awkward, dontcha think? Seeing as you're older than me an' everything."

"Is that the one thing that would make things awkward. Not the fact that you're a man?"

"I mean," There's a lazy wave of Hawks' hand as he runs his fingers through his feathers with his other hand, "Who has time for technicalities? Besides, who knows. I could be like part, I dunno, seahorse and spewed you from my belly button or something." Dabi makes a face and takes another drag from his cigarette as he watches with disgust when Hawks pretends to shoot his hands from his stomach- waggling his fingers and of course accompanying it with sound effects.

Of all heroes to reach out to him for a good dose of double crossing, it had to be this bird brained idiot.

"You're fuckin' weird." Hawks rests his hands on his hips and tuts, Dabi is beginning to wonder if this man can ever keep his hands still for more than a few seconds at a time.

"That's no way to speak to your mother." Hawks scolds him sternly. It's at a time like this, Dabi is grateful at the fact that he's not obligated to actually stick around and deal with conversations like this.

"Yeah," Dabi drawls out- stamping his cigarette out on the gravel with the heel of his boot, "I got better things to do. Later, loser." He ignores Hawks' not so flattering squawk and continues down the littered alley.

"Wait! Why did you even call me out here if you're just gonna leave so soon? You didn't even give me a mission!" Dabi doesn't bother to look behind him and simply shrugs.

"What can I say, little bird. I just like wasting your time."

* * *

When he's far enough from the hero, another coughing fit racks through his thin body. He rests a hand against a wall of a building while his other hand beats at his chest, hoping to quell down his coughing. He feels tears start to prick at the corner of his eyes and he tries to gasp for breath between hacks.

To his complete horror, he feels something move up slowly through his throat. His panic only makes the coughing worse and he shifts to fully lean against the building as the object in his throat works its way up towards his mouth.

With one last heaving cough, it lodges itself free from his mouth and in his hand is a small white flower that's encased in a thick layer of spittle. He feels his brain start to short circuit the longer he stares at the flower.

He whips his head back in the direction that he came from, from where he had his meeting with Hawks. A sinking feeling nestles down in the pit of his stomach and he wipes any remaining spit from his mouth before igniting the flower in his hand.

* * *

**Author's Note**

The flowers I have for this are white calibrachoa. Probably not the best flowers for hanahaki but I really like those flowers.

I've read a few hanahaki fics and thought I'd give it shot. Of course, it'd be about these two. This was supposed to be a one shot, but in my typical fashion, I kept adding more and yeah. Updating this one shouldn't take too long, it's going to be pretty short. I'm aiming for like 3-4 chapters probably.


	2. Chapter 2

Dabi stumbles into the dark bathroom, not bothering to flick on the light switch. His head is pounding and he grips the side of the cold ceramic sink with shaking hands. Slowly he lifts his head to stare at the mirror- its only reflection is the stilling darkness that envelopes him.

A swirling figure appears in the mirror as his eyes begin to play tricks. He can only watch on as the figure begins to take shape and to his annoyance, he sees Hawks.

A dreaded lurch in his chest heaves and a tickle in his throat sends him over the edge; before he can think twice, he swings a fist at the mirror. There's a deafening crack and it shatters the visage.

"Fuck!" Dabi takes a step back from the sink and runs his hands over his face, ignoring the warm liquid dripping from his hand.

One second, he was enshrouded in the dark and the next he's bathed in a dim flickering light. He blinks twice and turns around to see Shigaraki leaning against the doorway, hand still hovering over the light switch with a questioning glare.

"Dabi-" A series of coughs interrupts Shigaraki and Dabi squeezes his eyes shut and prays to whatever cruel deity cursed him in the first place to just stop.

Thankfully, his coughing dies down and he swallows back down the itching in his throat.

"You look like death." Shigaraki's observation hangs stagnant in the air and Dabi merely sighs.

He feels like death.

* * *

Dabi stays inside his room for the better part of the day, turning away a prying Toga and a worried Twice. If there was one thing that Dabi is good at, it's avoiding all human interaction. He's exhausted, refusing to sleep with dreams plagued of soft red feathers and whispered sweet nothings that only his brain can think up of in the dead of night.

He presses the heel of his palms against his dry eyes and reevaluates his entire existence and life choices.

There was once a time, long ago- in almost an entire different lifetime, that he'd be able to run to his mom and she would provide all the answers for his questions. She would hold him close to her as he would tell her about his worries and fears. She would nod understandably and murmur reassurances as he let himself be lulled into comfort with the soft vanilla fragrance of her perfume and warm hugs. She would wipe away his straying tears and tell him she would always be there for him and smile down gently at him, saying that 'no matter how scary things get, always wear a smile because the ones who smile are the strongest.'

Memories of his lost childhood bubbles up and he finds himself wishing to go back to the time where he could go back to his mom for support. Just to see her again and be comforted. She would know what to do and what to say.

Instead, he sits in his dingy room. Alone.

* * *

It's three in the morning when Dabi finally decides to leave the cold comfort of his room. Pushing the door silently open, he nearly steps on a bowl of food with a simple post it note with a crudely drawn heart next to a cartoon drawing of Twice's masked face, that for some reason has angry eyebrows. With a sigh, he picks up the bowl and looks down at the rice with disinterest. Despite the rolling growl in his stomach, he doesn't feel hungry.

Dabi sneaks down the quiet hallway and into the kitchen where he scrapes the rice into the trash and sets the bowl in the sink.

He lets his mind begin to wonder as he leans against the counter. Staring down at his hands, he begins to pick at one of the sutures, trying to remind himself of who he is and not what he wants to be.

Any chance of redemption died a long time ago when it perished in the flames along with Touya. He wears his burns as a reminder of his own ideals and grudges. It serves as his anchor that he can never escape his past or his future; the rest of his life is inscribed into stone and there's no changing who he is. There is no more place in society for the likes of him, no place except for the one organization that welcomed him into their arms without a doubt.

Here is where he belongs, with the likes of similar mindsets and wounds from the past.

Misery loves company and here is where the broken gather like moths to a flame.

Here, there is no offered comfort of mothers long forgotten.

"You didn't eat your food." He's shaken from his thoughts as Toga steps into the kitchen. A glance over his shoulder shows a frowning girl.

"Wasn't hungry."

"Why?" How could he even convey his thoughts to her, thoughts and worries that she wouldn't understand? How could he even try to seek the solace of the girl that has no real meaning of love and flits from one interest to another like a wine connoisseur?

"Drank too much." He turns his attention back to his hands, hoping his answer would satisfy her curiosity. There's a pause in the room and fading footsteps confirms his hopes. He lets out a sigh of relief and pushes away from the counter.

As he makes his way back to his room, he can't help but to feel like he's marching to his own funeral procession.

* * *

Sunlight filters from between the broken shades and there's quiet mumbles from the other side of Dabi's door. He ignores the knock and pulls the blanket over his shoulders to feign sleep.

"-Worried."

"Don't be." Dabi catches snippets of the conversation and turns over to face the wall. He hears the doorknob turn slightly before the soft voice of Shigaraki floats into his room.

"Leave him be."

Once again, he's left in silence.

* * *

On the third day, he decides that he's being utterly ridiculous and makes himself at home in the bar. Dabi ignores the occasional glances from some of the other villains as he claims his usual seat. He's left alone, even though he can tell that a few of his colleagues want to speak to him- he's spared the peppering of questions that must be floating through their minds.

Shigaraki takes a seat next to him and hands him a glass of amber liquid. Without a word, he takes it and drinks it.

* * *

**Author's Note**

Because who would I be without some good ol' angst thrown into like every story I write? Things will get better for poor Dabi, I just think that maybe with him realizing that he's in love would make him want to push everyone away and hide for the rest of his life. Am I self projecting? Hmm, maybe... yes.

Also, I really liked Twice's side that was shown in chapter 224 where he really cares for the people around him and would want to help Dabi even if he doesn't really know how. I just. Love him so much.  
Hawks will appear again in the next chapter and hopefully Dabi can pull himself together before then. Until then, enjoy a contemplative and sad Dabi. What a mood.  
Anyway, that's it for now. Until then.  
Reviews are always welcome!


	3. Chapter 3

The night sky is cold against Dabi's flushed skin. He leans his head back and lets the oncoming rain fall gently on his upturned face. His eyes are closed and he takes in a deep breath- a sharp pain in his ribs makes him wince slightly and he opens his eyes again. Taking a hand, he feels around his torso and finds the open wound. Dabi hisses and presses his hand firmly against the gaping gash in his side to slow down the bleeding.

He doesn't spare a glance down at the charred corpses of the unfortunate victims of his fury and presses forward. He has no real destination in mind and allows his feet to take steps of their own volition. The rain seems endless, it trickles down from his hair and onto his face. Dabi doesn't wipe the rain away, it's masking his own steady dripping of tears- the salty taste is bitter in his mouth.

Dabi stumbles over a stray rock and he kicks it aside, it clatters down the empty street before it suddenly comes to a stop underneath a boot.

"Dabi?" He jerks his head up at the sound of his name, through his blurred vision stands a man dressed in soft beige and wreathed in brilliant crimson as his wings tuck themselves closer against his body. Between the painful maim and the itch that makes itself home in the base of his lungs- Dabi can find no words.

"Dabi." Hawks repeats, taking a step closer towards him. His footsteps are drowned out by the rain, Dabi finds himself transfixed by the way the droplets make Hawks' uniform cling to his body.

"I thought you died on me, honestly," Hawks laughs, rubbing the back of his neck with an easy smile, "I haven't heard from you in a week." Dabi still can't speak, worried that if he tries- it will only make the cursed flowers that had taken root from between his ribs bloom. Hawks' laughter dies off as his eyes trail down to Dabi's hand against his side. His gaze is unreadable and he only sighs tiredly before daring to get closer to Dabi.

"I should've known that the call earlier was about you." Dabi can only manage a vague gesture with his free hand before exhaling sharply from his nose.

"Well, you know me. Always up to no good." He finishes with a small chuckle, wincing from the smarting in his side.

"So uh, you gonna get that checked out?"

"I'll be fine." He doesn't want Hawks to get any closer, it's getting harder for Dabi to keep down the gradual climbing irritation in his throat. Hawks merely raises an eyebrow and clicks his tongue.

"Yeah," Hawks drawls out, gaze not leaving Dabi's hand, "I'm gonna call that bullshit." Dabi grits his teeth and swallows down a sneaking petal.

"Really. I'm fine." He manages to shoulder past Hawks before the shorter man can make another peep. A withering glare is sent Hawks' way when Dabi realizes that he's being followed. Hawks bristles at the glare and abruptly halts. Dabi continues down the street littered with stray bottles and the dripping of his blood that mixes in with the cold rain.

A flutter of wings tells Dabi that Hawks took flight and he slouches into himself, ignoring the sharp pain.

He can't stop the next series of coughs and covers his mouth. His gaping wound only sharpens and rips open more with each heave of his coughing. From between his thin fingers, soft petals burst forth. He doesn't notice as one slips away from his grasp, too distracted by the subtle flowery aroma mixing in with the earthy undertones of the rain. He shoves the handful of petals into his jacket and continues down the street.

He never noticed the figure of a winged man that's perched from a building above, who's watching curiously as a single white petal falls gently down to the street before being drifted off into a storm drain. Because the next thing Dabi knows, he's plummeting towards the cold pavement.

* * *

He feels as if he's in a dream, a terrifying nightmare of flying over the sleepy city of Musutafu. Clenching his eyes shut doesn't stop the painful lurch in his stomach, he's always been prone to getting motion sickness in vehicles but this feeling is worse than when Spinner took them on a high speed getaway.

A long forgotten memory of Dabi as a child spending nearly his whole time in the lavatory while on his father's private jet resurfaces. No amount of back rubbing while he's crying into the toilet helped and after they landed, he swore that he would never fly again. Yet, here he is. careening through the cold spring air, being pelted by rain drops.

Dabi can't help the dry heaving that's beginning to boil in his stomach.

"Whoa, hey. If you're gonna throw up, you're gonna pay for my dry cleaning bill." Spoken words fall on deaf ears as Dabi loses his dinner, watching it hurtle down towards the ground below only makes the pit in his stomach churn more.

"Jesus, you're a mess." Dabi can barely hear the words over the whistling wind. Thankfully, he finally loses consciousness again.

* * *

Dabi is brought back to the land of the living when a warm hand slaps against his face. He jolts back and activates his quirk out of old habit. There's a startled yelp and a thud as someone falls backwards. His eyes snap open and finds himself in an unfamiliar room, making his fire only burn hotter. A fire alarm starts its shrill cry, there's a panicked shout from the tenant below Hawks' apartment.

"Hey! Stop. Don't burn down my apartment!" His eyes flit towards the voice and sees a frazzled Hawks a couple of feet away from him, on his ass. Carmine feathers whiz around them, one turns off the alarm while others are taking objects away from his brightly burning azure fire that's steadily licking around his body.

Dabi sees the alarm in Hawks' eyes and there's a small nagging feeling of guilt in the back of his mind. His fire begins to sputter out and as its crackle dies down Dabi takes the time to survey Hawks' apartment.

It's not exactly what he was expecting from the number two hero. It's a cozy one bedroom apartment with lofty ceilings and large windows with twinkling stars peering back through the inky night sky. He's on an overstuffed sofa, in front of him is a cluttered coffee table with fan mail and other unopened official looking letters strewn over it. There's a small flat screen television set on mute, a news anchor is plastered on it with a grim frown- most likely covering Dabi's recent string of murders. He doesn't bother with reading the subtitles that zoom across the bottom of the screen.

Behind the sofa is a small table with two chairs pushed in. Separated by a half wall is Hawks' kitchen which is spotted with take out boxes and unwashed dishes in the sink, children's drawings of him are tacked to the fridge- to Dabi's amusement. To his right is a halfway opened door which serves as the bathroom, if the tiled flooring has anything to go by. Shoved into the corner of the apartment is a large bed with a massive amount of fluffy pillows and twisted blankets, vaguely reminding Dabi of a half assed attempt of a nest. While his apartment is cluttered, it's not necessarily dirty per se. It certainly feels like it fits Hawks. Hawks' faint cologne hangs around the sofa, it's a warm and comforting smell. Well, it would be comforting if Dabi isn't currently swallowing down a new wave of blossoms.

While he may of had dreams of being in Hawks' apartment, this certainly wasn't how he imagined this is how it would happen. A thought forms, telling him that it's only fitting for him to destroy it- as he can never do anything right.

"Thought I told you to leave me alone." Dabi finally manages to speak, his voice feels thick and foreign to him. Hawks scoffs and stands up, the last flicker of his fire is gone and instead of being thrown into a bright blue light, Hawks is bathed in the soft light of the lamp near the sofa. He nearly looks heavenly, in this light- his wings are cast in subtle shadows and his amber eyes look almost golden. Dabi has to look away, his glare settles on the cluttered coffee table in front of him.

Dabi is brought back to earlier that day where Hawks had found him in the alley. How the hero had stood before him, haloed in the flickering light of a nearby neon sign- throwing him in a beautiful kaleidoscope of blues and reds. He can easily recall the dancing reflections on Hawks' visor and when he had smiled at Dabi, his whole world had come to a standstill. The world around him had come to a violent halt because at that moment, all that mattered to Dabi was the person before him that shone with such brightness that even the sun paled in comparison- that even the moon and stars could never hold a match against his sheer beauty.

To Dabi's absolute panic, there's the feeling of twining roots and ever climbing leaves and soft petals blossoming from within his body. Nestling stubbornly in his lungs, Dabi suddenly finds it harder to breathe.

"First," Hawks raises a hand, his index finger pointed up "You technically _didn't_ tell me to leave you alone." Hawks lifts his middle finger, "Secondly, what kind of hero would I be if I left you to die back there?"

"A typical one." His response only earns a huff and Hawks bustles into his bathroom. He's only gone for a moment before coming back with a medical kit.

"Take your shirt off." Dabi knows it to check out his wound, that still doesn't stop his heart from skipping a beat.

"You take me to your apartment and now you're trying to get me outta my clothes? You didn't even take me to dinner first." He settles on what he hopes is a wry smirk, Hawks merely rolls his eyes and motions with his hand to hurry up.

"Do you always have to be an insufferable prick?"

"It's my specialty." Dabi mutters to himself before gingerly lifting his shirt up and over his head. Even being careful, the gash on his side protests and he lets out a low hiss.

"Jesus, you look like you got mauled by a bear." With a glance down, he sees the entire left side of his torso is covered in blood and a large and angry wound gapes back at him. It runs from his hip and expands to just slightly above his belly button. Dabi also notices a few of his sutures are missing and he can only hope that they didn't end up lodged somewhere inside of him. Movement in the corner of his eye makes him look back up and sees Hawks much closer than he had been a moment ago.

Being this close to the hero, Dabi can see a slight wrinkle between Hawks' knotted brows. Traveling down, he's lost the second his gaze reaches Hawks' eyes. His eyes are like spun liquid gold with light brown flecks dance around in his iris. Quickly, he looks away from his eyes. Only to land on the faint sun kissed freckles splayed over his nose. At a distance, Dabi never even knew that Hawks had freckles; he doesn't know what to do with this new tidbit of information. Moving down from his nose, his eyes finally land on Hawks' lips. Dabi can only watch as Hawks purses them and sticks his tongue out slightly as if he's in deep thought. Not for the first time, he can feel his heart lurch and the hidden flower bed in his lungs grow.

"Just a fyi, this is going to hurt." Dabi doesn't pay attention to whatever Hawks is trying to warn him, he's too busy suppressing a cough.

A cold rag is pressed gently around the cut to soak up the blood before Hawks beings to dab an alcohol pad over the cut. Pain explodes and he sees dark spots in the edges of his vision before passing out for the third time.

* * *

When he comes to, all the lights in the apartment are turned off; the only light is from the faint sunrise peeking out from the cityscape. Pastel pinks and purples filter in through the open windows. On the bed, Dabi can only see Hawks' blond hair peeking out from the mass of blankets. His soft snores are the only thing that cuts through the stillness of the apartment.

Looking down, he sees his torso expertly bandaged and he slowly gets up. It takes a moment for him to struggle with getting his torn shirt on but when he does, he moves towards the door.

Dabi takes a second glance over his shoulder at Hawks' bed and he feels a soft smile flicker over his lips before he has to rush out of the apartment, with white blossoms filling his mouth.

He makes a vow that if he survives this, he's going to set fire to every flower that he sees.

* * *

When Dabi enters the hideout, it's quiet to his relief. He tries to sneak back to his room when Twice pops out from the kitchen.

"There you are! I was looking for you, not really. I was worried though! Maybe."

"I was busy with a job." Twice only narrows his gaze at Dabi and rests a hand on his jutted hip, the other hand pointed accusingly towards Dabi.

"You seem awfully busy with _jobs_ when we haven't had any missions for awhile." When Twice's eyes land on Dabi's torn shirt and the tightly wound bandages that peek through his shirt, they widen nearly comically.

"News update, I work separately from you. I got secret missions."

"They're not really secret if they end up on the news, idiot." Dabi only shrugs noncommittally.

"What can I say, I'm in it for the dramatics."

"That why you've been so weird? I mean, _I'm_ weird but you're like, a different kind of weird. A suspicious weird."

"Hmm." Dabi hums, not wanting to contribute anymore to this conversation. He tries to move past Twice but is stopped when his arm shoots out and gently pushes him back. Twice and Dabi say nothing, both men studying each other. Dabi feels like he's in a Mexican standoff, dancing around an issue that Twice clearly wants to talk about but Dabi has no desire to.

"Dabi," There's determination in both Twice's voice and his gaze, "Toga is worried too."

"If she's so worried, she can talk to me herself and I'd tell her the exact same thing I'm telling you. _I'm fine_." He doesn't shrink against Twice's scrutiny, instead, he straightens out his posture to stand over the man. Dabi forces himself past Twice and from behind, Twice has to have the last word.

"You can't hide everything forever."

Yes, Dabi thinks, yes he can hide forever.

His day is spent in bed, still weak from his fight from last night. He flits in and out of consciousness. Dreams of swirling reds and whites before eventually taking forms of feathers and dancing flowers against a spring breeze with warm hands that seem to fit perfectly against his own. He swears he can hear a soft voice, telling him something that he so desperately wants to hear.

_I love you.'_  
When he wakes up, there are petals on his pillow. His clock blinking back at him, telling him it's midnight.

* * *

Dabi excuses himself from the bar, leaving a chatty Toga and bored Shigaraki behind as he opens a side door to step outside. He leaves it cracked slightly, not wanting to be alone with his thoughts. He fiddles with an unlit cigarette for a second before lighting it; even then, he can only bring himself to watch it as it slowly burns- leaving ash in its wake.

He told himself that he would never fall in love. Yet, here he is. Standing outside in the now clear night, watching the full moon in the night sky with a hand outreached towards it. It's as pale as the white petals that are forgotten in the pockets of his jacket in his room. In the stillness of the night, he can't help but to wonder if Hawks is staring up at the moon as well.

Through the open door, a song plays softly. It echoes all around him and resonates from within. He takes in a deep breath and closes his eyes, enjoying the song. For the first time in his life, he truly understands it.

_Endless rain, fall on my heart, on my scars of my heart._

_Let me forget all of the hate, all of the sadness._

_Days of joy, days of sadness slowly pass me by,_

_As I try to hold you, you are vanishing before me._

_You're just an illusion_

_When I'm awaken, my tears have dried,/i_

_iin the sand of sleep._

_I'm a rose blooming in the desert_

_It's a dream, I'm in love with you._

* * *

**Author's Note**

Newly revised chapter! I'm much happier how this turned out than the one from yesterday. Hope you like this redone chapter!  
Lyrics are from X Japan's Endless Rain.

I really wanted to write Hawks cleaning up Dabi because, I mean, he's a hero. He wouldn't leave Dabi alone.  
I know that Twice's scene gets cut in this chapter and that made me sad but I kind of realized that he was pretty OOC before and I wanted to fix that too, I suppose he's still OOC but hopefully better? I really like him but I'm always nervous to write him because I don't want to ruin his character. I guess the only way to fix that is to write him more to get the practice. The League will definitely hold an intervention for their resident edge lord. I'm going to say that there's only one or two chapters left in this fic, so things will start wrapping up.  
I also wanted to kind of take a break away from some angst, me? Not wanting to write angst? I must be getting sick.  
Anyway, that's it for now.  
Reviews are always welcome!


	4. Chapter 4

It's strange, Dabi reflects.

For so long, for way too long, he had lived his life in a world of black and white. Being raised in an environment where he was never allowed to formulate his own opinion and thoughts, the ideals of his father- no matter how twisted, was shoved down his throat since an early age.

Heroes were the upmost important beings in society, for they protected the weak and defended the run of the mill civilians from the dirt that creeps around the edges. Always there, waiting to devour an innocent soul.

It was his duty to follow in his father's fiery footsteps.

To continue the perfect image of their family honor.

To be the knight in shining white armor that arrives to every beck and call. That dotes on the people that idolize. That rescues some little kid's cat stuck on a tree or helps an old lady across the street. That arrests the scum that dare disrupt order. That tells the frightened to have no fear, because he is there.

Yet, what could he do when his own father's armor was tarnished by his greed and envy to be only the best?

Who was he to even question his father's warped view on society, when his father stowed away his true intentions?

How was he even to process the fact that him and his siblings only even existed because of his father's failure to be the best and it was up to them to dethrone the Number One in Endeavor's place? That they were never truly felt the love and security that a parent should give. That they were nothing but mindless and emotionless drones to carry out Endeavor's wishing. It disgusted him. Filled him with distrust and hate of the so called "great heroes".

There is no such thing as a true hero. There is no one that had, has and will walk on this earth that ask for nothing in return of their "good deeds". There is always an ulterior motive, Dabi had learned. Any person claiming to be completely selfless and only lives to serve, only makes Dabi more suspicious.

When he decided be a thorn in his father's side, he learned a great deal about the lesser, unwanted side of society.

Villains, who only came into their own role was because of a sole reason in Dabi's mind.

The failings of the heroes.

Even seeing those self proclaimed vigilantes running around being treated like villains at times makes Dabi scoff. Just because they don't posses a pathetic piece of laminated paper stating that they're good enough to be a hero, automatically gives them a jail sentence? How cruel society truly can be.

Too long had he seen the broken and the wounded, the weak who had wanted to help others and be a hero to maybe their family or friends or maybe like in Dabi's case- a familial obligation.

Yet, they were cast aside.

Being called weak and not good enough over and over and over does a lot on a person's psyche. Hell, he's not only witnessed it first hand- he's lived through it for fifteen agonizing years of psychological torture.

It was then, when he listened to criminal's petty stories and murderer's lament that he had realized that the world was not black and white like how he was taught.

It was nothing but a muddled world of ugly greys in his eyes.

And so that's how he viewed his skewed world for eight long years. It was as if he lived an old time television, never seeing in color.

He knew that if he was met with a grisly ending, the world would just keep on spinning. That he wouldn't be missed at all. After all, not even his own family misses him. Why would his colleagues?

There would be no grandiose funeral held for him, no weeping mourners, no loved ones sharing cherished memories with a sentimental smile as tears trickled down their cheeks.

It was just him and his cold grey world. For those eight years, he had thought that he was perfectly content with that.

Until.

Up until a flaming ball of crimson and gold with wise remarks and easy smiles hurtled into his life like a comet. When that comet landed in his life, his world exploded in a vast hue of vibrant colors that nearly hurt his eyes.

Seeing the sunrise for the first time for what it really was, was truly breathtaking.

Now, Dabi can't stop looking around, entranced by every bit of color that now seeps into his life. His frigid world thawed out and he actually finds himself enjoying the gentle warmth of the sun. Dabi asks himself how he had even lived as long as he did in a world so cold and was fine with it.

From the soft green of the grass to the bright blue sky and even down to the muted browns of the hideout, Dabi loves it.

His ideal thoughts are interrupted by a poke in his side.

"Watcha thinkin' about?" He glances over and is met with Toga's bright smile and Twice standing behind her.

"Don't you ever go to school, kid?" Dabi feels a sly smile at Toga's pout and she sticks her tongue out at him.

"Aren't old men like you supposed to take your daily evening nap?"

"I'm only six years older than you." Toga bounces on the heels of her feet and pokes him in the side again with a gleeful smile.

"I know, you're ancient!"

"Brat."

"Geezer!"

"Bitc-" Twice cups his hands over Toga's ears and tuts at Dabi.

"Dabi! Don't be mean." He can only offer a shrug at the duo.

"It's not mean if it's the truth." Toga wiggles away from Twice and grins widely at Dabi, the sharp points of her canines digging into her lips.

"You know, Dabi," She sidles up next to him- a mischievous glint flashing in her ochre eyes, "That's exactly what I'm talking about."

"That you're a bitch?" Toga only giggles, her steady gaze is only broken by a small blue bird that flies by. There's a wistful look in her eyes before they snap back towards Dabi once the bird disappears from view.

"We're family, right?"

"God, I hope I'm adopted if we are." A cutting glare only makes Dabi chuckle, "What? It's the truth. You're all terrible." He's only teasing and he knows that Toga knows this. Part of the reason why he can stand her is that she seems to have a good read on him and his rather dry sense of humor.

"Don't act like you're top shit, Dabs. At least we ain't a crusty gremlin like you." Twice pipes up from the right of him.

"Can it, Two-Face." Twice's reply is in the form of the middle finger and Dabi happily returns it. In the corner of his eye, he spies Toga withdrawing a soft red feather from her cardigan.

It's ethereal. Soft tufts at the end of the quill stir gently in the soft breeze. His chest begins to clench uncomfortably.

"Where did you get that?" Dabi tries to keep the defensive bite out of his question and can only pray that he sounds casual. He watches as Toga runs a small finger delicately over its plume, her eyes alight with what he can only label as a childish smugness.

"Found it." She answers in a sing song lilt, "Awfully pretty, isn't it?" Dabi says nothing as she holds it and in the dusky sunlight, it seems to glow serenely. He can't contain the sudden urge to cough and forcibly turns himself away from the crimson feather.

"You should probably quit smoking, y'know. You sound like you're hacking up a lung over there." Twice observes before patting Dabi on the back in hopes of helping with his coughing. It only agitates the flowers further and Dabi roughly pushes Twice away, gasping for breath. There's a stumble behind him and a gruff "hey!" from Twice as Dabi leans forward, coughing into his hand.

"Uh, Dabi?" He only shakes his head, tears forming at the corners of his eyes. He tells himself that he needs to breathe. To concentrate. It's always helped before and it has to help now.

Flowers can't stop blossoming in his lungs and he begins to feel faint from the thundering of his heart. Resting a thin hand over his chest he tries to calm himself, dark spots dance in the field of his vision. There's muted chatter all around him, he barely registers the panicked hands that hover around him. Weakly, Dabi swats the persistent hands away.

His mind begins to scream nonsense hysterics at him, to just fucking breathe. He can't, he's never had this much build up of blossoms in any of his previous attacks before. There's no room for air; nothing but the feeling of soft petals pushing up against his lungs and trachea.

Out of reflex, he tries to activate his quirk; if coughing can't get rid of the flowers, then burning them will. He'd rather have ash in his throat than the sweet, sickly petals anyway. A weak sputtering fire is summoned before dying out as quickly as it was summoned. He tries it again but the small flame wouldn't even be able to set a piece of cotton ablaze, let alone the flooding of flowers. That one is snuffed out even faster.

Small hands catch Dabi as he begins to fall further forward. In his daze, he can see a pair of scared golden eyes floating in front of him. Sluggishly, he asks himself when the hell did Hawks come here or how the hell Hawks even knew where they were at. He focuses more onto the eyes in front of him as if they are the only the only thing that's keeping him from losing consciousness. Only then does he realize that it's not Hawks but merely Toga. Her mouth is moving but he only catches the last part of what she's shouting at him.

"-ou okay?" Her question sounds thousands of miles away, it takes a moment for Dabi to even process the question. When he opens to his mouth to reply, bright snow white flowers finally fall out in place of lost words. He can only watch as they slowly flutter down, there's a gasp and more questions peppering him but it only lands on deaf ears.

"-ner get Shigaraki! Quick!" He thinks it's Twice that's shouting but he doesn't know anymore.

Dabi looks up at the magnificent setting sun of the familiar and ever breathtaking colors of gold and vermilion. There's the clenching in his lungs and he exhales slowly. Too mesmerized by the sight to be bothered by his shortness of breath any longer.

Dabi's hand fall limply to his side and drops his pack of cigarettes, closing his eyes. He lets himself soak up the last of the warmth from the sun before he slumps forward into Toga's arms.

His last thought is how beautiful the setting sun is as he drifts into darkness.

* * *

**Author's Note**

Of course I had to end on a cliffhanger!

Toga means well, but I mean, who would of guessed that taking a feather out would just about kill her honorary big brother? Certainly not her. I love their dynamic though, writing out their interactions always remind me of dealing with my own pesky little sister.  
Speaking of Toga, how about that new chapter? Ugh, Hori, please keep the LOV safe. I am curious though, we've seen the backstory of Twice, Shigaraki and now delving into Toga's... perhaps Dabi is next? One can hope.  
Anyway, that's all for now. Until then.  
Reviews are always welcome!


	5. Chapter 5

It's all very perplexing, Hawks thinks to himself. His fingers tap lightly against the keyboard, lost in thought. He's never seen what had happened the other day, well, happen before. Watching his favorite stoic villain hurl up flowers was certainly a first in his book. Hawks tried to tell himself that he saw incorrectly but his vision is razor sharp and he knows what he saw.

'_Hawks, what did your elf eyes see?'_ A sleepy voice in his head asks, earning himself a chuckle.

After he patched up Dabi's wound and the man was sleeping, he spent the better part of his night googling 'is puking flowers normal?' and 'what to do when a person coughs flowers?'. It led him down a rabbit hole of endless links. He skimmed over most of them until one word caught his attention.

Hanahaki.

After that, he decided to call it a night. His eyes were dry after staring at the bright screen of his phone and was exhausted from carrying a fully grown adult from that dingy alleyway all the way back to his apartment.

Now, however, he's bright eyed and bushy tailed. Work has been slow so far today which is a godsend because that single word keeps nagging at the back of Hawks' mind. He snaps out of his stupor and finally types it into Google and clicks the first link.

_The Hanahaki Disease is an illness born from one-sided love, where the patient throws up and coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. The infection can be removed through surgery, but the feelings disappear along with the petals._

Hawks pushes back in his chair and arches an eyebrow, letting out a low whistle. Absently, he picks at the sleeve of his jacket and rereads over the paragraph. He just can't quite seem to wrap his head around the fact that Dabi of all people is in love. After all the rants he's spouted about how it's all just fake love and people who fall in love are weak. Ironic that Dabi ended up with a disease for, well, for love.

Leaning forward again, Hawks steeples his fingers together and hums gently to himself. He supposes that anyone can fall in love, even assholes. His question is exactly iwho/i Dabi has fallen in love with.

Outside of reading the first link about Hanahaki, Hawks really has no idea how it even works. After all, he grew up in a government facility and that wasn't exactly the hot spot for falling in love. Quite the opposite now that he thinks about it. It was a cold, unloving and all too professional atmosphere. He was nothing but a governmental side project and they were just guardians that hovered over him to make sure he never put a toe or feather out of line.

Does he, himself, even know the feeling of love? Another unanswered question to add to his list. Does he have the capacity to love? Hawks draws his eyebrows together and fiddles with a pen, that will be added to the list as well.

"C'mon, get your head in the game." Hawks mutters to himself as he takes out a legal pad. He begins to write down the names from the League and studies them intently. He only knows the names of the League's little elite group but figures that Dabi wouldn't waste his time on anyone that's below him so he's pretty content that he's safe with the small list of names scrawled on the paper. He's never met anyone besides Dabi but Hawks knows enough from their files to be confident in figuring this out.

"Okay, well, let's see here." He stares at the first name that he jotted down and frowns, shaking his head, he moves on to the next name- he'll go back to the first name later.

_Toga Himiko._ Hawks immediately crosses her name off, from the snippets of what Dabi has mentioned of her- he sees her more of a little sister and nothing more. Besides, he seems the type to like someone a little more... subtle? Hawks isn't sure if that's the word he would use, perhaps more grounded is a better word. With that thought in mind, he also crosses out Twice.

_Kurogiri._ As far as Hawks knows, that one is still in Tartarus and has been locked up for a while now. He doubts it's him. If there's any love between him, it's probably the love of alcohol and nothing romantic.

"I wonder." He trails off, not really wanting to imagine how it would be like to sleep with a sentient body of mist. Shaking his head again, he crosses Kurogiri off as well.

Hawks taps his fingers against the pen in his hand and bounces his leg idly. With three names crossed off, that just leaves three more names.

"Ah, Mr. Compress." Twirling the pen, he stares down at the name. Between Mr. Compress and Spinner, they're the least talked about villains- preferring to stick more to the back and working their magic from there. Smart move really, let the others take the brunt of the notoriety and that grants them a little more freedom to move around without being recognized straight away. Well, maybe that can't be said fully for Spinner but nobody even iknows/i anything about Mr. Compress. He's the only one that even goes through the trouble of masking his identity, who knows who he truly is.

Nonetheless, he crosses the name off before scribbling over that and rewriting the name with a question mark behind it. Hawks pauses and crosses it off again, Mr. Compress would be too theatrical for Dabi. Confident, he nods his head and moves on.

_Spinner._ Hawks pauses and gives out a small sigh. Could Dabi be a secret furry? Could that word even be applied to a lizard? Hawks has no idea. Maybe he should ask Miruko about that, she seems more well versed in love than he is; surely she would know the answer to his endless queries.

"I don't even-" He cuts himself off, really not wanting to think about how even kissing Spinner would be like, let alone doing anything else with him. Hawks crosses his name off anyway, figuring from all times that Dabi has vented about Spinner that he's probably not interested in Spinner.

"That only leaves... Shigaraki." Now that would be a deadly combination if Hawks was none the wiser. It would also make sense now that Hawks really thinks about it. Dabi is definitely a 'veni vidi vici' type of guy and wouldn't be worried about some nonsense one sided love unless it was with his boss. Anyone would be a little nervous to confess their feelings to Shigaraki.

He knows that the villain is pretty well grounded; he would have to be, to be able to keep his League afloat this long. He's quick on his feet and the flare of the danger around him would be pretty enticing for thrill seekers. Is Dabi a thrill seeker? Hawks realizes at this point that he doesn't even realize what Dabi likes.

"It has to be him." Hawks confirms to himself. He circles Shigaraki's name several times before setting down his pen.

"I've connected the dots," He leans back into his chair and rubs his temples, "I didn't connect shit." Hawks concludes. Really, it could be anyone but he's willing to bet his money on Shigaraki. He reaches forward and tosses the piece of paper into the shredder and closes out his browser. Ignoring the numbness that settles over him.

* * *

"So," Hawks picks at his bowl of ramen, "hypothetical question." Miruko stops shoveling the noodles in her mouth and looks up at him with a grin.

"Oh, this is going to be good. Shoot away."

"If you were a villain," At this she scrunches her face, "Who in the League would you bang?" He watches as Miruko sets down her bowl and stares at him incredulously.

"The fuck?" Hawks bats his eyes at her and smiles.

"Aww, come on."

"Can I kill myself instead?" He clacks his chopsticks together and shakes his head, "Well, none of them! They all look like they never take showers." She scrunches her nose at this and narrows her eyes at him.

"What about you, bird man?"

"You didn't answer my question!"

"I did! No one! Ew. I have standards, yo." Hawks can't help but to laugh, pointing his chopsticks at her accusingly.

"Do I have to pull up your list of exes to prove you wrong?" Miruko rolls her eyes.

"Of course you'd have a list. Anyway, what about you?"

"You have to pick one before I tell you." He picks up some noodles and begins to eat while waiting for her answer. She chews on her bottom lip and sighs.

"If I would have to choose, probably Shigaraki."

"Why?" He can't help but to laugh.

"So I could ask him to kill me afterwards. Now, answer."

"Hmm, I'd go with Dabi." Miruko pulls another face.

"Ew. That cheap Walmart discount rack Freddy Krueger? You're an absolute mad man, an animal."

"Says the rabbit." Hawks ducks in time to avoid a noodle being thrown at him.

* * *

Hawks closes his front door and flops down on the sofa exhausted. After lunch there was a onslaught of criminals and he ended up having to pull a double shift. He stretches out his wings and flaps them to work out the tired muscles. A glimmer of white catches his eyes and he watches as a small petal floats up from the breeze he created. Reaching out with a gloved hand, he gently plucks it from the air and studies it.

He finds himself wondering how it feels to be in love. Hawks concludes that Dabi is lucky to even have the capability to fall in love. A small frown forms and he sighs.

To his horror, he finds himself even jealous of Shigaraki. There's no reason to be, yet, here he is- glaring at the petal in his hand. Hawks crumples the petal in his hand and sends it to the trash with a feather.

Oh to be in love.

* * *

**Author's Note**

I know it's another short chapter, I promise I'll make it up with the next and final chapter.

Last chapter will probably be up by the end of the week but besides that, nothing really to update about.  
Until, then!  
Reviews are always welcome!


	6. Chapter 6

There is one thing that Dabi is acutely aware of when he comes to, the overbearing presence of others in his room. He cracks open an eye and is greeted by a large yellow one only a few inches away from his face.

"He's alive!" Dabi groans and pushes Toga's face away, she's way too close for comfort.

"Get away from me." His voice is gruff from sleep and it comes out more of a croak than a demand. Dabi closes his eyes again but can't fall back asleep to the general buzzing of the atmosphere.

"What a nice way to thank me for saving your life." He hears Toga huff as she shuffles towards the foot of the bed before she plops down on it- accidentally sitting on his foot. He kicks at her to move but she doesn't, rather, she sprawls back on the bed- taking up the entire bottom portion of his bed.

"How're you feelin', lover boy?" Spinner snickers, ducking just in time to avoid a pillow being thrown at his face. It's caught in Shigaraki's hand and before Dabi can protest, it crumbles to dust. Suddenly, the atmosphere turns thick and uncomfortable. He has a vague memory of watching a Scooby Doo episode as a child where Scooby was able to cut through the fog with a knife and he finds himself wondering if he could do that right now. His thoughts are cut short when the rest of the League files out, leaving only him and Shigaraki in the room- staring at each other with unease.

"What an interesting turn of events." Shigaraki starts, wiping the ash from his hand against his pants- leaving a faint and smudged grey hand print against the black of his pants. Sitting down on the edge of Dabi's bed, Shigaraki studies him with an unblinking red scrutiny.

"We're going to have to solve this." Dabi props himself up and draws the blanket tightly against himself.

"Solve what?"

"Don't play stupid with me," Shigaraki snorts, "We both know full well what I'm talking about." Dabi's stretching silence only seems to confirm Shigaraki's statement, he nods and continues.

"I'm seeing two options for you. Either you end up dead somewhere because you're an idiot and let it almost kill you already," Shigaraki's gaze turns almost mockingly soft, "Or, you can get this fixed."

"And how-" Shigaraki cuts him off with a wave of his hand.

"I can send you to Ujiko, you know. I've already spoken with him and he seems," There's a short pause, "Very invested in your condition." Dabi sits up further and pinches the bridge of his nose.

"I'd really rather not deal with him."

"As I've thought. I suppose there's another solution." Dabi waits for Shigaraki to continue but there's only the long pregnant pause of silence. He looks up from his hand to see Shigaraki studying him curiously, his head tilted to one side.

"Who is it?" His question comes out as a whisper and there's something in the glint of his eyes that makes Dabi not want to answer.

"Does it matter?"

"You almost died, so, I would say yes. It does."

"It's no one that you know." Shigaraki merely hums, he takes out Father from his hoodie pocket and lets it rest in his lap. Neither man says anything for a long time, only the occasional muffled shout and bark of laughter from the bar fills his quiet room.  
"I see that you're going to be stubborn like usual."

"What even can you do to help?"

"Easy," Shigaraki stands- a ghost of a smile appears on his pale lips, "I could kill them." Dabi draws back and raises an eyebrow.  
"What happened to letting what we love, live?"

"Please, that was for Toga," Shigaraki lazily waves Dabi off, "She's merely a child. She'll learn soon enough." Dabi rolls his eyes and frowns.

"You're too cruel."

"No," Shigaraki walks over to the window and stares out of it- his hands clasped behind his back, "Heroes are the ones that are cruel- don't you agree, Touya?"

"Pretty sure that I've told you before not to call me that." Dabi grits his teeth and his hands clench the bed sheets so tightly that he can feel his fingernails biting into his palm through the thin sheet. Shigaraki looks over his shoulder and back down at Dabi.

"It's our mission to destroy, to tear them down. We have to purge this world from their filth. It disgusts me, truly. Not even just them, this whole society is fucked beyond saving. So, everything has to be destroyed and rebuilt. All of you were made aware of my mission from the moment you agreed to work for me. There is nothing cruel about that."

"I-"

"Even if you want to protect whoever it is, they're distracting you."

"From what?" Shigaraki smiles, the white of his teeth shining softly against the sunlight.

"From your growth," Shigaraki walks back to the bed and gazes softly down at Dabi, "You are my second in command. Let me help you."

"What if I don't want help?" Shigaraki's smile grows, reminding Dabi of a cruel reenactment of the Cheshire Cat. Shigaraki pulls a small piece of paper that's blank save for neatly printed out numbers staring back up at him.

"I believe that you and I both know the answer to that. Regardless, I'll answer it for you; you'll end up dead in some forgotten alley," Shigaraki walks towards the door only to pause, "I look forward to your decision. You haven't much time left though." At that, he leaves Dabi alone in his room with only his thoughts to keep him company.

* * *

"So this is why you've acting so weird." It comes out as a whisper, Dabi doesn't think that he had ever heard the loud and boisterous Twice ever do anything quiet in his life. Yet here they are, in the back alleyway of the hideout with Twice staring at him with something he's never quite seen in Twice's eyes before.

Understanding.

"Huh. Never thought it would happen to you." Dabi has a sneaking suspicion that Twice is talking to himself rather than to Dabi. He stays quiet, puzzled at the sudden change of Twice's psyche. Dabi quietly studies the man next him and watches as the empathy in Twice's eyes fade away and turn to something more melancholic.

Twice opens his mouth to say something but decides against it and closes it again. Instead, he claps Dabi on the back as he studies him sadly.

"So what are you going to do?" Twice leans against a grimy brick wall next to Dabi, crossing his arms and resting a foot at the base of the wall. Dabi only shrugs before taking out a cigarette.

"Shigaraki wants to ship me off to Ujiko." Dabi's free hand brushes against the small piece of paper in his pocket, He pulls a face and lights the cigarette. There's just something about Ujiko's fixation on him that makes Dabi's skin crawl. The thought of being at the doctor's mercy makes a pit in his stomach form and twist uncomfortably. Dabi only chuckles and runs his hand through his hair, he's been awfully uncomfortable these past few weeks.

"I dunno. Maybe it wouldn't be too terrible to just get it done and over with, yeah?"

It feels as if the temperature around them drops about ten degrees and Twice withdraws his hand as if he got burned by Dabi. A side glance tells him everything he needs to know as he watches Twice's face shift into a look of horror.

"Is that really what you want? If it is, you're stupid as fuck." Dabi begins to retaliate but is instantly shut down, nearly hit in the back of the head with a flailing hand.

"Don't ruin something so beautiful. You'll only end up regretting it in the end." There's a pause as Twice's eyes harden as Dabi shakes his head.

"I can't just go and proclaim my love to him like some sort of shitty Romeo and Romeo skit." Dabi really has no other words. Even just thinking about it makes him feel like he's suffocating. How can he ever convey his fears of the harsh reality that they're up against? Heroes and villains are not meant to fall in love, because in the end- only one will end up walking away alive.

They stand on the opposite sides of a coin.

Hawks is like the sun. When he walks into a room- everyone seems to orbit around him, drawn naturally to someone who shines so brightly. Dabi reflects that even a simple smile from Hawks could end anyone's sadness. His self confidence and suave attitude is exactly what people crave for. He's the good guy, his future is already laid out in stone and Dabi has no part in that future no matter how hard he tries to envision it.

Dabi on the other hand, well. He's nothing more than the inky darkness of a cloudy night. He's made up of mothers' fabled lectures that if their child misbehaves, the burnt man will sneak into the house at night and burn them and devour their soul. He's the whispers in an abandoned alley when there's not a soul around. He's the murder of ravens that gather along telephone wires. He's the very fear that thrives within people's hearts.

Where Hawks breathes life all around him, Dabi can instantly snuff it out with a wave of his hand.

Where Hawks is creation, Dabi is destruction.

Hawks' future isn't meant to be dragged down to the murky depths of Dabi's own.

Dabi has known nothing but violence and fear for almost his entire life, he has nothing to offer Hawks. Even if he had, he could never forgive himself for destroying someone like Hawks just because of his own selfish wants and desires.

No.

Dabi shakes his head again and just laughs.

"I think know what I need to do." He's met with only a sigh before Twice hangs his head.

"If you're asking me, I say you should at least think about it."

"Since when did you become so invested in this?" Dabi can't help but to sneer, it's not often that Twice gets on his nerves but the other man is really starting to try his patience. Twice lets out a dry laugh and looks up to the stars above, his breath comes out in puffs of grey before fading out.

"Look man, hrngh," He irritably rubs his forehead and squeezes his eyes shut, "It's hard to think sometimes." Twice mutters to himself, he takes in a deep breath and squares his shoulders back.

"Look, I know that you think you're all hot shit," Twice chuckles to himself and Dabi only rolls his eyes- not like he's ever heard that one before, "But for real. Don't go and fuck yourself up because you're too much of a coward to do anything about it."

"Twice-"

"I'm not finished, asshole!" Dabi holds up his hands in a surrendering gesture and takes a puff from his cigarette- waiting for Twice to finish with whatever monologue he has in store for him.

"Sometimes, you just gotta do what makes you happy. Fuck what Shigaraki thinks, wait, don't tell him I said that. Because, y'know, he's our boss." Dabi snorts and extinguishes his cigarette against the brick wall and watches as it falls to the dirt.

"Yeah, yeah."

"Cool. So anyway, where was I?"

"I gotta do what makes me happy." Dabi reminds him, Twice perks up and fist punches the air.

"Yes! See, now you're getting the hang of it!"

"I was just telling you what you told me, sheesh." He rubs the back of his neck, his fingers warm against the grooves of his scarring.

"That's besides the point!" Twice waves into the air frantically, "This is all part of Twice's five part plan! Step one, accept what you gotta do to make you happy. Step two, ido/i what makes you happy. Step three, be fucking happy!"

"What are the last two steps?" Twice pauses and brings down his hand.

"Hmm?"

"The last two steps, Einstein. What are they?"

"Oh, I dunno," Twice shrugs, "Twice's five part plan sounded better in my head than Twice's three step plan."

"You're a real big help."

"I try." Dabi smiles and looks over at a beaming Twice.

"That was sarcasm."

"Well, I didn't go to college to major in sarcasm."

"Did you even go to college?" Twice pushes himself away from the wall and shakes a finger at Dabi.

"Uh- do you think I'm some sort of neet or somethin'? Of course I went to college!"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah! I was even valedictorian!" This surprises Dabi, he knows that he shouldn't be surprised at anything when it comes to Twice but even so- there's always some sort of surprise that comes in small shapes and forms when it comes to Twice.

"What did you go for?" Dabi can't deny being genuinely curious.

"I got my doctorate in being kickass! Ka-pow! Hi-yah!" Twice kicks at the air and does a few chops.

"Wow, of course you did, Twice." Twice rounds on him and props his hands against his hips.

"That's _Doctor Twice_ to you." Twice continues to beat up the air and once again to Dabi's surprise, he finds himself laughing.

* * *

"It's not fair." Toga whines from behind him, the cold metal of the scissors brush against his ear- snagging one of his helix piercings.

"Watch it, you just about chopped my damn ear off."

"I did not!" She barks back, smacking him lightly on the back of the head before going back to cutting his hair.

"How did you get so lucky with having such thick hair and mine is so thin? You don't even do anything with it!" Dabi shifts, trying to fish out his pack of cigarettes before his hand is smacked away.

"Stop moving already before I really chop off your ear. Plus, no smoking in my room. It stinks." Dabi complies with a huff and stills.

They fall into a quiet routine of Toga complaining about his hair and the soft metallic snips of the scissors. Her small fingers thread through his hair to make sure she doesn't miss any strands and he nearly falls asleep. His head falls slightly forward and snaps back up when she clicks the scissors dangerously close to his ear as a warning.

"Cut my ear and I'll burn your hair off."

"Burn my hair off and a bleeding ear won't be the only thing you'll have to worry about." Toga snidely counters. She moves in front of him and hums to herself as she begins to cut his bangs.

"Twice told me about what Shigaraki said." Toga mentions casually, Dabi inwardly groans. Of course. Twice can't keep his mouth shut to save his life.

"Good for you."

"I'm just saying," There's another snip of the scissors, "It's perfectly normal to be in love." She finishes with a smile and her eyes drift off to the corner of her room with a light blush dusting her cheeks.

"What do you know about normal?" She glances down at him and sticks her tongue out at Dabi.

"I'm as normal as you!" Dabi snorts and rolls his eyes.

"Well, that's not saying much." She doesn't acknowledge his quip and instead hands him a bright pink and purple hand mirror.

"Good as new!" She beams from over the mirror and Dabi nods in agreement.

"I suppose it's good enough." He takes off the towel from around his shoulders, "What?"

"And you call me the bitch." Toga takes the towel and mirror from him with narrowed eyes.

"I've never lied about being bitchy. 'Sides, someone had to teach you the ways." She giggles and tosses the towel in the dirty laundry basket before she sits across from Dabi. Reaching over, she grabs a giant bunny plushie and hugs it to herself- it's nearly the same size as her and she struggles to peer around it.

"You've taught me well then, I guess."

"You still have much to learn, young grasshopper." Toga turns her nose up at this and sniffs.

"I'd really rather not be a bug, why can't I be something cute?"

"Okay, then. What do you want to be?" She thoughtfully taps a finger against her chin, lost in thought. Her face brightens and digs around the pile of plushies next to her and holds up a light green frog with looping white swirls on its stomach to him.

"What about a frog!" Dabi arches an eyebrow, taking the frog from her. Its fabric is soft underneath his fingers and he gives it a small squeeze.

"... a frog?" Her smile nearly blinding and she buries her face into the back of her plushie.

"Yeah! Frogs are cute. I have a really good friend that's part froggy and Tsu is very cute!" She continues her muffled one sided conversation into the rabbit about how much she loves her best friends Tsu and Ochako. Dabi occasionally pipes in with soft "I see's" and "ah's", only half listening to everything she's said multiple times before. Eventually, Toga turns her babbling from her friends to how cute boys are when they're drenched in blood. By this point, Dabi completely spaces out and only nods along to whatever she's ranting about. His attention is focused on a petite ceramic cherry blossom branch on her desk with two delicately crafted song birds perched on it- looking at each other. There's a tickle in his throat and he blinks away, forcing himself to look back to Toga.

As hard as he tries to focus on her words, he keeps drifting back to what Twice told him earlier.

* * *

"Hey, hey." Spinner greets him with a half wave before returning back to his card game with Mr. Compress.

"You got a haircut." Mr. Compress observes, Dabi nods and pulls up a chair- sitting on it backwards, he rests his arms on top of its back.

"Well, it looks very nice on you." Dabi mutters a soft thanks and Mr. Compress gives him a small and knowing smile before resting a three of clubs over the four of hearts.

"What are you playing?"

"King's Corner. I picked it up during my travels in America," Mr. Compress answers, setting a two of diamonds over his previously placed card, "Your turn, Spinner." Spinner draws a card from the pile in the middle and silently studies the splayed out cards in front of him before slowly putting the king of spades in one corner, looking up to Mr. Compress questionably, who nods in affirmation. With that, he places a few more cards down before motioning to Mr. Compress that it's his turn again.

Dabi pretends not to notice Spinner's constant side glances towards him. Instead, he keeps a firm hold over his cold composure- absolutely refusing to let Spinner get under his skin.

"You're looking a little pale over there, buddy."

"I'm not your buddy, pal." Dabi flatly retorts, examining picking at his fingernails with boredom.

"Aww, c'mon! Don't be like that lover boy." Dabi glances up from his hand with a quirked eyebrow and a sneer.

"Call me that again, and I just might make a pair of boots out of you." Spinner leans back in his chair, tilting his head to one side- his smile is wide and dangerously lined with pointed and sharp teeth.

"Is that all you got these days? Puh-lease. When you can think up of something more creative, then feel free to come at me, _bro_. Until then, don't embarrass yourself." Spinner rests the last card in his hand down on the table and motions to Mr. Compress to hand him the winnings- completely ignoring Dabi now.

He abruptly stands and makes his way over to the bar, motioning their new bartender closer.

"Gimme a lemon sour."

"Thought you hated lemon?" Their genuine curiosity just makes Dabi burrow deeper into his sour mood and he hunches his shoulders forward.

"Yeah, well. I hate my life, so fuck it." He grumbles. Quietly, they turn their back on him and begin to create his pick of poison.

* * *

Soon, the room around him starts to spin lethargically and the stool from underneath him seems to distort and swirl along with the room. Occasionally there's a smiling face that floats into his vision, asking him how he's holding up and without fail, he'll wave them off and grumble about how they're just annoying him.

Dabi is starting to feel restless, the bar is too quiet- most of the others have either gone to bed or left the bar for some nightly mischief. He's alone in the bar with the bartender in the small kitchen, washing up. Their hums shift in and out of Dabi's focus as he glares into his empty glass.

He'll show them. He'll show them all just how wrong each and every one of them are. Right. Dabi tells himself that he got this as he struggles to pull out a phone from his pocket, it takes him several trying attempts but he's eventually able to connect his hand to the phone and pull it out.

Dabi blinks blearily down at the warm phone in his hands and he racks his brain for any memory of what the pass code might be to unlock his phone.

"Fuck." Dabi slurs and haphazardly inputs a random string of numbers. _7623_ wrong. _1089_ wrong. _0420_ wrong again. He groans and sets his forehead against the cool marble surface. Dabi almost drifts off to a drunken sleep when he shoots up from the counter, earning him to lose his balance and he tips dangerously backwards in the stool.

"'Course." He fumbles for the phone on the counter. _0111_. Bingo.

Now all he has to do is scroll through his contacts, simple task.

Well, usually it is. Instead, he finds himself somehow distracted by a cute video of a hamster stuffing sunflower seeds in its cheeks. Dabi clears his throat and reminds himself that he's on a mission and has no time to be watching dumb hamster videos.

There's a small part of his mind that's screaming at him to stop because after he makes this call, there's no going back.

As per usual, he ignores his common sense and punches in a number. It rings for what seems like forever before there's a slight crackle and a voice from the other end picks up.

"Hello?" Dabi smiles into the phone, he steadies his swaying. It's time to roll.

"You and I need t' have a talk."

* * *

**Author's Note**

So much for just a short three chapter fic, huh?

I really loved writing this chapter but there was just no way that I was going to smoosh everything in and leave this one as the final chapter like what I was planning. I didn't want to take the shine away from Dabi and his interactions with the rest of the LOV.  
Who could Dabi be calling? Hawks? Ujiko? Drunken misdial? Who knows. There's too many ways to end this fic and all of them sound too good to choose over the others. I'm going to have to sit down and flip a coin or something, I dunno.  
Random tidbit time, Dabi's passcode is Shouto's birthday because I'm lame and say so lol. Also, I kind of like to reference my other fics sometimes and that's how Shigaraki knows Dabi is Touya because of Baptized in the Fire of Your Greed.  
That's all for now, until then!  
Reviews are always welcome!


	7. Chapter 7

"D'you know how much I hate you?" Dabi sneers, wiping a hand over his mouth- one of his piercings snag against a suture and he lets out a soft string of curses. Blearily, he watches as the figure enshrouded in darkness raise their shoulders before letting them fall back down.

"Here I thought that we were getting along so well, Dabi." He can only narrow his eyes as Hawks steps forward into the blinking street light. Dabi feels his stomach roll at the sight and is forced to look away. It seems that these days, there's always that small and irritating tickle in the back of his throat. He had hoped that drinking would poison the flowers inside of him but they only seem to surge back up at the mere sight of the winged hero. He absolutely hates it.

"You ruined e'rything." His gaze is still averted but he can hear the smirk in Hawks' response. Dabi grits his teeth at this and tries to calm his swaying.

"Oh my god, are you drunk?" He snaps his glare back at the hero and points a finger at him, it slowly veers to the left before he focuses it back to Hawks.

"Wassit to you?" Hawks raises his hands in surrender and takes a small step forward, wings slightly quivering.

"Holy shit, you're plastered. How did you even get out here, stumbling all over the place like some sort of deranged zombie? I've half a mind to arrest you for public intoxication. I can imagine it now, the greatly feared infamous murderer and kidnapper: Dabi, finally caught because he was drunk off his ass. I could finally retire early from the bounty the hero agency put over your head." Hawks' tone is light and airy but it drags Dabi's mood further down.  
"Wouldn't you like that? Fuckin' typical ass hero. Get outta here." Hawks tilts his head down and tugs of the hem of one of his gloves.

"So," He glances up at Dabi with a confused smile. In this light, Dabi can see a dimple forming on Hawks' right cheek- it disgusts him, "You called me at three in the damn morning just to tell me that you hate me and then order me to leave? Bro. I got work in like two hours, thanks waking me up for this." Dabi only glowers and tries to take a step forward but nearly trips.  
"Fuck you."

"Damn Dabi, remind me to never take you out on a night of bar hopping. You're even more unbearable when you're drunk." Dabi subconsciously activates his quirk and tries to throw a small ball of blazing blue fire at the man before him, it wildly misses but Hawks lets out a squawk nonetheless.

"Jesus! What's wrong with you?"

"You're the one that's wrong with me!"

"Is this because I saved you from dying in that alley? Look, how was I supposed to know that you were gonna hurl all over the place?! What kind of villain gets motion sickness anyway?" Hawks lets out a soft and nervous chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. Dabi tries to summon another ball of fire but it sputters out.

"I don't give a flyin' fuck 'bout that. Jus' leave. You can kiss The League good bye 'cus I'm done. Go back to doing your stupid hero shit."

"Whoa, hold up D-" In a burst of rage, Dabi ignites himself on fire- the crackle of his flames and smell of burning clothes fill the air around them.

"Fucking leave." Hawks stays still for a moment and Dabi's fire pulses, closing the distance between the two men.

"Okay, damn. I'm leaving. Don't get your panties in a twist." Hawks sends him an unreadable glance before spreading out his wings. They obscure the street lamp and throws a reaching shadow towards Dabi and his fire. With a sudden powerful flap of his wings, Hawks is launched into the air where he sighs- looking down at Dabi with pity before flying back to his apartment. Dabi's shoulders finally relax and allows his fire to dissipate. He slumps down to his knees and clenches his fists tightly.

"Fuck!" This was not at all what Dabi was planning on saying to Hawks but he supposes that's what he deserves for wanting to talk when he's drunk. He tells himself that it's for the best anyway to get that pesky bird out of his life and thusly, out of his head. Out of sight, out of mind. Even with his half assed reassurances, he still can't stop the tears when they finally dribble down his face.

Dabi stands back up on shaking knees and begins his walk back to the hideout before an idea hazily swirls in his mind. Instead of going back to the hideout, he turns down an abandoned street and towards a sleazy bar that he knows operates outside of closing hours. A perfect place to pick up strangers with no strings attached.

* * *

As his head hits the thin pillow and he stares up at the man above him, he tells himself that if drinking can't get rid of his feelings- maybe this can.

It does not.

* * *

Dabi wakes up alone in a bare room, the clock next to the bed tells him it's half past four in the afternoon. His body is sore and his head is throbbing from a hangover; throwing an arm over his eyes- he groans, trying to work up the motivation to get up. Gingerly, he sits up and gets dressed. Passing a cracked mirror on his way out, he grimaces at his reflection. He's certainly seen better days. There's no denying the disheveled state of his hair and the haggard look in his eyes, he tiredly wipes away the remaining signs of sleep in his eyes. Shuffling to the bathroom Dabi at least tries to look like he doesn't have one foot in the grave he's dug himself in.

He may look slightly better but all the ice cold water in the world can't help fix the feeling of his heart as it wrenches painfully in his chest.

* * *

He doesn't make his way to the base, instead, Dabi continues on his new life long mission in seeing how drunk he can get before he keels over from liver failure. For the most part, he's left alone. Anyone in their right mind would avoid his crudely thrown scowls. Unfortunately, there's one bar patrol that's tired of Dabi's mood dragging down the entire bar and picks a fight with him.

Drunkenly fighting is a hell of a lot harder than being sober and after he crashes into a table, the bar owner freezes both of them.

"Get the hell outta here, both of you. Don't come back." Then sends them hurtling through the front door. Dabi's back glances off of a fire hydrant and he lets out a low hiss. Standing up he glowers at the man and tries to lunge towards him but his legs don't move.

Behind the man, stands Hawks with a frown. Dabi's eyes narrow and he dusts off his jacket.

"You're not worth wasting my time." He growls and turns away from the angry drunk and the approaching hero. He isn't sure which one he was talking to but decides that it could be for both of them for all he cares. Dabi hears Hawks saying something to the man but continues on his trek for another bar, not interested in their conversation.

A hand clasps his shoulder and he whirls around to see who dares to touch him. Preparing for round two with the brawler. Coming face to face with Hawks makes the insult die on his tongue and he can only stare into Hawks' eyes. They're wrinkled with worry and under the fading sunlight, they look like honey drops on a bright summer day. Dabi thickly swallows and shrugs off his hand.

"You reek of alcohol."

"What d'you care for?" Hawks sighs and idly motions with a hand.

"Because I don't want to clean up the mess you'll make. Go home," Hawks keenly studies Dabi, "'Sides, you're bleeding. You're going to end up dead if you keep this up." If only he knew, Dabi thinks, if only he knew that _he_ was the reason for all of this. Hawks is the sole reason why Dabi is tumbling head over heels down a rabbit hole with no end. His head is swimming, suddenly dizzy- he throws up, some of it splashes onto his shoes and Dabi just blinks down at it.

"Okay, uh, gross." Hawks takes a step back to avoid being in the splatter zone and wears a disgusted expression. Dabi feels his stomach turning and before he can throw up again, he swallows it back down.

"That's... even more gross dude. You're a walking disaster, go home before you pass out." Dabi suddenly feels exhausted from his two day long drinking binge, fighting and now throwing up. He plops down next to his puddle of vomit, still studying the drying splatter on his boots.

"Too tired." It comes out as a whine and Dabi rests his head between his knees, trying to control the spinning world around him.

"Well, I'm not flying you around like a personal Uber driver. Especially since you still haven't paid for my dry cleaning fee," Hawks chuckles and squats down a good few feet away from Dabi, "Can't you have someone, like, pick you up?" The thought of being stuck in a moving car only makes Dabi's stomach complain more and he shakes his head.

"I can walk, it's not that far of a walk." Hawks stands back up and carefully moves towards him, extending a hand out.

"Well, if you insist." Dabi decidedly doesn't take the offered hand and stumbles up to his feet. Hawks pulls his rejected hand back and rubs it, looking like he wants to say something. Instead, he stands in silence as Dabi begins his staggering walk of shame back to the League's base.

* * *

Dabi sluggishly digs through his sparse room, looking for his first aid kit. He slurs out a few choice curse words when he finds it empty. Instead of asking for help like a sensible human being, he heads next door to Shigaraki's room. He knows that the man gets injured more frequently than the Allstate guy so he's bound to have at least something in his room for patching up injuries. He fumbles with the doorknob, fingers still slick with blood. After a trying moment, he manages to open the door and openly stares at the complete disaster of Shigaraki's room. Dabi mutters to himself that Shigaraki should take up The Tasmanian Devil as his villain name because that's the only title befitting for him.

Regardless, he steps over piles of old newspapers and strewn books and misplaced game cases that had probably lost their discs long ago. A crunching under his foot only makes him hope that Shigaraki won't miss that particular game.

"Is there a reason for why you're in my room, getting blood all over the place?" Being caught red handed in Shigaraki's room would make any lesser villain tremble at just the mere thought. Dabi on the other hand, can't be bothered.

He doesn't answer Shigaraki straight away, even taking shallow breaths hurts the massive bruising on his back and the thought of talking right now doesn't sound very appealing so all he manages is a noncommittal grunt and a vague wave of a hand. There's a long pause in the room, it's not necessary uncomfortable but Dabi can certainly tell that Shigaraki's patience is slowly starting to unravel as he continues to sift through the mountainous mess of junk on his desk.

"You tracked puke in my room. You're disgusting." Shigaraki mutters.

Something thuds against Dabi's back, jolting him from his delirious thoughts. He hisses at the sudden pain that flares up and he turns around and sees a travel sized first aid kit next to his feet. Its deep red cross stares back up at him in a stark contrast against the pale white of the rest of the box. In that moment, just beholding the vibrant red makes his stomach lurch forward and he inwardly winces as he splutters out a cough.

The simple act of reaching down to pick up the box, makes his aching body scream at the same time the flowers begin to bloom forth like cherry blossoms on a warm spring day. Dabi hurriedly snatches the box up and flips it over, breathing in relief when there's not a drop of red to be seen.

He continues to cough into the crook of his elbow as he skirts around a now bemused Shigaraki; before he can make his great escape, a hand shoots out and takes a firm hold around his elbow.

"Would you care to explain all of this?" Dabi tries to come up with an excuse for his current state and can only tell his boss that it was a recruitment gone bad. Shigaraki's bored and unimpressed expression tells him that he didn't quite buy Dabi's lie.

It wasn't exactly a full lie, though. More of a white lie. He _was_ working on recruiting Hawks but that turned out to be a catastrophic failure on his end.

"Hmm," Shigaraki hums quietly, his vice like grip still on Dabi's elbow. For a fleeting moment, Dabi wonders if he can piss off Shigaraki enough to make him disintegrate him. That would solve all of his problems, "Somehow I feel like you're not being totally honest here." Dabi's fingers curl tightly over the small medical kit and he slowly turns to face Shigaraki.

"That's your problem then, I always tell the truth." Shigaraki laughs- it comes out as a huff of air through his nose and he doesn't take his eyes off of Dabi.

"You? Tell the truth? I wasn't aware that it was opposite day. Isn't your whole existence just a giant lie? Running around with a fake name, pretending that who you were doesn't exist anymore? The fact that you're in here, drunk and spouting lies to my face isn't going to work well in your favor, Dabi." Having this conversation with Shigaraki is starting to sober him up, sending him in a rather foul mood.

"Who I was is dead. There's no lying in that. I am who I am now because who I was died a long time ago." Shigaraki finally lets go of Dabi but his unblinking stare keeps him rooted to the spot.

"You're an enigma," Shigaraki lazily wafts a hand around and tilts his head to the side as if he's studying a specimen for a science experiment rather than having a casual conversation with Dabi, "I don't appreciate this, you know. You're supposed to be my second in command, the leader of the vanguard, and all you're doing is stumbling around like a dumbass. Not exactly professional."

"We're villains!" Dabi's voice rises, the kit in his hands starts to buckle under his grip, "There's no need to be professional in this field." Shigaraki crosses his arms and taps a finger patiently, a frown forms on his pale lips and he takes a step closer to Dabi. They're almost the same height but Shigaraki has a few inches over him and makes that clear to him.

"We are the most feared organization in Japan. We obliterated the Yakuza and other smaller criminal rings and cults. Everyone's faith in the heroes is crumbling because of us. I'd say that there is a need to be professional. Especially from its leaders. Unfortunately, that applies to you too. You're letting yourself spiral out of control and it's embarrassing. We're going to end up as a laughing stock pretty soon if you keep this up." Dabi says nothing and directs his glare to a cluttered corner of Shigaraki's room, he has the distinct feeling of being scolded like a little child and he hates it.

He hates that Shigaraki is right too.

"Get yourself fixed up. You're a mess." Shigaraki turns on his heel and stalks over to his desk searching for something and mumbling to himself, Dabi only picks up on a few words and grits his teeth together when he overhears Shigaraki calling him pathetic. Instead of picking another fight with him, Dabi leaves the room totally sober.

* * *

"Dabi, Dabi, Dabi." Toga tuts, leaning into his doorway with a wide smile that make the corners of her eyes crinkle. He takes a glance over his shoulder and resumes patching up the last of his scrapes before closing the kit with more force than necessary.

"When are you going to learn?" She sighs at the bandages, shaking her head sadly and skips into the room without asking for permission.

"What d'you want?"

"Well," She rocks slightly back and forth on the heels of her feet, "I was thinking-"

"That must be pretty hard for you." He can't help but to retort, he chuckles at her glare.

"Anyway! Like I was saying, since I was so nice and cut your hair for you..." She trails off and Dabi patiently waits for her to continue.

"Maybe, possibly, we could get McDonald's?" He sets the kit down next to him, ignoring the hairline cracks that spider across the plastic and raises an eyebrow up at her.

"We, as in _I_ will have to get McDonald's for you?" Toga fiddles with the sleeve of her over sized sweater and shrugs.

"That was the idea."

"I thought you didn't like McDonald's?" She shuffles forward and sits next to him on the bed and looks up at the ceiling serenely.

"I don't!"

"Then-"

"But the cashier there is really cute!" Dabi runs a hand through his hair, shaking his head.

"Of course," She says nothing, in the corner of his eye he sees her fidget impatiently- her feet kicking idly against the bed frame, "Get your shit on then." Toga bolts up from the bed and runs out the door to get her shoes.

* * *

"Are they even open this late?" He checks his phone, it was a little after ten at night when they left but in typical Toga fashion- she would insistently stop at all the little stores that dot the streets to do some window shopping. It's now midnight as they approach the brightly lit golden arches.

"Are they even- Dabi," She shakes her head and peers up at him with wide eyes, "Of course they're open! This is probably the best time for them to make money off of drunks like you anyway." She smugly adds. Dabi's eyebrows furrow and pockets his phone.

"I'm not a drunk."

"You were on a two day drinking marathon."

"Only to drown out my feelings." She pulls a face and stops walking for a second, he stops a few feet in front of her.

"Hey, just to let you know, 2008 called and they want their gross emo outlook on life back."

"I'm not-"

"I bet you even have My Chemical Romance on your phone." He bristles and begins to walk again.

"I do not." He does.

"Then let me see your playlist." She runs after him, reaching for the phone in his jacket.

"Fuck off." She giggles, unperturbed by him.

"It's okay. Sometimes it's not a phase th-" She halts again and blushes, "That's him!" Toga points to a cashier that's scrolling through his phone without a care in the world. She doesn't make a move towards the glass doors and just stands a few feet from the window and smiles.

"Yeah, that's not creepy or anything." He offhandedly mentions, earning himself a soft punch to the side. He rubs his side, her punch grazed a bruise and Dabi sighs.

"Alright, let's roll." Her gleeful smile is almost blinding in the dark as he rolls back his shoulders and throws open the doors with gusto.

* * *

They run down a quiet side street with arms full of burgers and fries. Toga's laughter echoes off of the buildings and they take a hard right turn, Dabi loses a burger and it bounces off the pavement and lays with its bun and toppings sadly splayed out.

"Did you see his face?" She yells over her shoulder as they take another turn and skid to a stop at a small park. Dabi finally catches his breath, wishing he had been more serious about exercising when he was younger. He just can't keep up with Toga's unbridled amount of stamina.

"Poor guy, probably shit his pants." He smiles while unwrapping a burger. They stroll over to a park bench that's bathed under a park lamp and she munches on some fries.

"Maybe he had a heart attack!"

"That's a possibility. Anyone would be scared to have a tiny gremlin pointing a knife in their face." Dabi wipes away some of the ketchup that dribbled down his chin and he tilts his head up to the cloudless night sky.

"If I'm a gremlin, what does that make you?"

"Incredibly handsome." He replies and steals a fry from her hand.

"You must be looking in one of those fun house mirrors then." He's about to come back with a comment but Toga stops moving and snaps her attention up from her fries and narrows her eyes. Dabi watches her intently as she reaches down to pull out a hidden dagger.

"Man, what did I say about making messes for me to clean up?" A voice cuts through the tension and Dabi squints to see a figure approaching. He says nothing, not sure what to do. He's never introduced Hawks to the rest of his co workers and has no idea what Toga will even do in this situation.

Then, there's Dabi's other situation and he'd really rather not deal with that in front of the both of them.

Toga side eyes Dabi for a moment, hesitating. Her dagger is still held tightly in her hand and he knows that she's looking up at him for any sort of give for their predicament. Dabi sets down his half finished burger and stands up, placing himself in between Toga and the approaching Hawks.

"And I'm pretty sure I told you to fuck off." There's a chuckle and Hawks finally appears under the light of their lamp. He's wearing an easy smile but it doesn't reach his eyes.

"Well, y'know. It's kinda hard to do that when you're always up to trouble on my shifts." Hawks shrugs, his smile dims a little bit and he peers around Dabi, spotting Toga.

"Dabi?" He glances over his shoulder and shakes his head when she tries to stand.

"Not now, kid." Gently, he pushes her back down to the bench and redirects his attention to Hawks. Both men stare at each other for what seems to be an eternity. Dabi swallows down a stray blossom and squares his shoulder back. Hawks sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.

"Okay, look. I'm gonna let this slide, Dabi. Only because you have a kid with you. That's it." Hawks studies them for a second more and pulls out a transceiver, clicking the side button- it crackles to life.

"Negative sighting on the perpetrators. Heading up north for any signs of suspicious activity."

"Roger that." Its reply is immediate and Hawks lets go of the button. Dabi is starting to have trouble breathing, his throat is constricted from stubborn flowers. He still stands his ground and Hawks begins to unfurl his wings. Hawks pauses for a second and sends out a feather that nabs a burger on the bench next to Toga, plucking it from his feather he shoots Dabi a wink and lifts off into the night sky. Dabi keeps his back turned to Toga and can't hold back his coughing anymore.

"Dabs?" Toga stands next to him and tilts her head, her knife and fries are nowhere to be seen. He waves her off with a free hand and lets out a giant heaving cough. Her eyes widen before a large grin settles on her lips.

"Oh my god," She breathes out, "It's him!"

"God dammit." When he mumbles into his hand, a soft petal lands on his bottom lip.

* * *

"Dabi and Hawks sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G." Toga sings to herself, skipping as they make their way back to the base. She dumped the remaining food in Dabi's arms so she can skip happily with her arms swinging by her side.

"If you tell anyone, I will burn everything and everyone that you love down to the ground." He warns, she pauses mid skip and beams at him.

"No you won't" She sings out, a playful lilt in her voice. Toga lets Dabi catch up to her and she starts walking next to him.

"So-"

"I don't want to hear it."

"So," Toga continues- ignoring Dabi, "What are you going to do?"

"Maybe have Shigaraki kill him." He won't ask that of Shigaraki because knowing him, he'll be all to happy to take down the Number Two hero.

"That's no fun! Where's the romance? The drama?!"

"There is no romance and there sure as hell won't be any drama."

"I bet he likes bad boys."

"Okay." Toga giggles and pokes his side.

"Come on! Aren't you curious?"

"Nope." He keeps his eyes glued to the sidewalk in front of him, wishing that the earth would open up and swallow him whole.

"Don't be in denial!"

"I'm not."

Toga lets out an exasperated sigh and throws her hands up in the air.

"Then prove it." He side glances her, quirking up an eyebrow.

"Why would I do that?" Toga taps her chin thoughtfully and hums to herself.

"Because I triple dog dare you."

"I'm not a kid, triple dog dares don't work on me." She pouts and narrows her eyes up at him.

"That's besides the point! Triple dog dares are sacred!"

"For little kids maybe."

"Dabi!" She whines out, Dabi sighs and wishes that he brought his pack of cigarettes with him.

"It's not gonna happen, Toga. Drop it." She stays silent for a long time before sighing quietly.

"Fine."

* * *

A week passes by uneventfully, Toga doesn't bring anything else up but Dabi does catch her and Twice giggling to themselves about something and casting quick looks in his direction. For the most part, he keeps to himself. Each day seems to present a harder challenge to even get out of bed, he can't be in denial with his illness anymore. With even the smallest amount of physical activity leaves him winded as his flowers take up more and more room within his lungs. He's worried that one day he'll choke on them and when that day comes, there'll be no saving him.

Each morning, he glances at Ujiko's number that's left on his bed stand and every day he grows more tempted to call up the doctor.

"Shigaraki says that you have to take me out on a mission." Toga hangs outside his doorway. Dabi rolls over in bed and groans. He's feeling so weak and even the quick walk to the bathroom earlier nearly proved too trying for him. Dabi doesn't bother to hide the flowers anymore, they litter around his bed and pillows. Silent reminders of his inevitable death.

"Take Twice." He croaks out, another cough leaves him light headed.

"Twice isn't even in Musutafu!" Dabi closes his eyes.

"I'm busy." Toga waltzes into his room and kicks at a collection of flower petals on the floor.

"With what?" He rolls over and cracks open an eye at her.

"Dying." She flops over on his bed and shakes her head with a smile.

"You can do that later, this is important!"

"My death is important. I can't even get out of bed."

"Because you're lazy! Let's go." She hops back up on her feet and starts to drag Dabi out of bed.

* * *

Dabi stands a few feet behind Toga, wavering slightly on his feet and he feels feverish. He knows that he should've stayed in bed, their mission turned out to be a bust and Dabi is seething.

"Toga," He rasps out, "Wait." He rests a hand against a cold brick wall and tries to catch his breath. She loops her way back to him with a worried look.

"I'm fine. Just- just give me a minute." A minute turns to two and then five minutes. Toga circles around him, nervously fluttering around like a butterfly- unsure what to do.

"Dabi, we gotta get moving." He hangs his head, now leaning fully against the wall.

"I know."

"I'm going to call Spinner to pick us up. We're sitting ducks here." She starts to pull out her phone when a carmine feather falls gently down and lands on her shoulder. Looking up, Toga puts her phone back in her pocket and waves up at the sky.

"What are you doing?" She doesn't answer, she either can't hear his whispered question or is actively ignoring him.

"You two again?" Dabi snaps his head up at the voice and quickly turns away from Hawks, flowers flooding his throat.

"He needs help." Toga tells Hawks. Dabi scrunches his eyes shut and focuses on his breathing.

"I can see that. What's wrong?"

"Uh," Toga pauses, "I think he's choking."

"Don't you know the Heimlich?"

"I don't even know what that is." Toga simply answers Hawks. There's a shuffle of footsteps and suddenly Hawks is standing behind Dabi with his arms wrapped around his torso. Panic surges through his body at the touch and he feels his face heat up. Dabi tries to weakly push Hawks away but the hero's embrace is tight.

"Hold on," Hawks murmurs, "Don't set me on fire, I'm saving your life here." Hawks constricts his arms and pulls towards himself. From the sudden force, flowers leave his throat and flow out of his mouth. Dabi takes in a gasping breath, holding his throat. His flowers don't stop and Hawks backs away for a second.

"Call your boss!"

"What is Shigaraki gonna do?" Dabi's peers at the two, both of them waving their hands around frantically.

"He has to tell Shigaraki!"

"What are you even talking about?!" Toga throws Hawks a confused look, Dabi turns away again and coughs out another wave of flowers.

"He's gonna die if he doesn't tell him!"

"Tell him what?!" Toga's voice rises a few octaves.

"For fuck's sake, that Dabi is in love with him!" Hawks sounds frustrated, his own voice up an octave too. Dabi mentally kicks himself for ever agreeing to get out of bed and there's a beat of silence before Toga speaks up.

"You idiot! He doesn't love Shigaraki!"

"He- what?"

"Where did you even get that idea from, you big stupid bird?!" Hawks splutters and Dabi can feel a soft gust from Hawks' quivering wings.

"Then-"

"It's you! He loves you!" Dabi begins to slip down the wall and can't tear his eyes from the steady flow of white flower petals. There's a long stretch of silence and Dabi buries his face into his hands with a quiet groan.

"I-" Hawks starts, looking from Toga to Dabi with a panicked expression, "Really?"

"Yes!"

"I'm going to kill you, Toga." Dabi grumbles, once again he's left ignored. Hawks squats down next to Dabi. Risking a glance, Dabi sees Hawks' liquid spun gold eyes full of something that he doesn't recognize.

"Is it true?" He can't talk. His can't form any words and is lost in Hawks' eyes. All he wants to do is reach out and cusp Hawks' cheek and tell him everything but he can't. Instead, he only nods with resign. Hawks pulls back as if he got burnt and plucks at his jacket.

"I-" Hawks starts again, looking down at Dabi, "I can't do this."

"What?!" Toga shouts at Hawks, who continues to back away and takes flight in a hurry.

As Hawks flies away, Dabi experiences a new pain.

The pain of a breaking heart.

Toga shakes her fist up at the sky and shouts about how she's going to kill Hawks before turning back to Dabi.

"I'm sorry."

He doesn't respond.

* * *

Everyone is crammed into Spinner's stolen van, Toga sits protectively next to Dabi- still muttering threats to herself. Spinner looks into the mirror and quickly looks away when he meets Dabi's empty gaze.

"We're almost there." Shigaraki breaks the silence, pointing out a rather unassuming building to Spinner, "Go around the back, I'll take Dabi from there."

* * *

Dabi leans into Shigaraki, who supports him without a word. They make their way slowly down a quiet hallway. The closer they get to the room at the end, Dabi's heart beats louder and louder in his ears. He's sure that it's filling the corridor with its thundering beats.

"We'll be waiting." Shigaraki tells him and Dabi only nods. The large double doors open and behind them stands a short and portly man sporting a large grin.

"Ah, Dabi. I was wondering when I would get to see you again. Come in, come in." The doctor turns abrupt face and the duo follow him, their footsteps echoing over the pristine white walls.

"Have a seat, Dabi. I'll be with you in a moment, just need to have a quick talk with Shigaraki and then we can begin the procedure. You're lucky you hadn't waited any longer, it might've costed your life." Dabi still remains quiet and slumps down on an uncomfortable plastic chair. He watches as Shigaraki and Ujiko head to a smaller office to discuss matters.

Soon, they come back out and Shigaraki sends him a small nod, sitting down next to him.

"I'll be here. Ujiko says it shouldn't take too long." Dabi hums and gets up when Ujiko motions him forward.

"I assure you, Dabi. You'll be in great care." Ujiko tells him, his grin still on his lips.

* * *

Where his world had been saturated in vibrant colors before, now faded to a dull grey once more.

For the first time in over a month, he feels nothing. No panicked beating of his heart or the presence of flowers. He only feels numb and empty. Their ride back to the hideout is even more uncomfortable, Dabi stares blankly out the window watching the now dull trees pass by silently.

He finds himself missing the flowers because this new feeling of nothing is worse.

* * *

A soft ping wakes up Dabi and he reaches over to his phone to see a message from Hawks. Beforehand, it would make him smile to himself and the flutter of butterflies would fill his stomach. Now, he only reads the message with no butterflies or a smile.

_can we talk?_

* * *

Hawks paces back and forth in an abandoned parking lot, his own heart is thrumming and he wipes the sweat from his forehead. He turns around when he hears approaching footsteps.

"Dabi, you came." He's surprised, he did a pretty shitty thing the other night and since then- he's been plagued by dreams of the fiery villain. Finally, he thought he was going to combust from everything. He knew he had to reach out to Dabi and tell him everything. He mentally kicks himself for being stupid and running away, he can only hope he didn't hurt Dabi too much. He just needed to get his thoughts straightened out. Now he's ready.

"It's not like I was doing anything important anyway." Dabi's low voice murmurs besides him and it sets Hawks' heart aflutter.

"I wanted to just say sorry," Hawks runs his hands through his hair and nervously chuckles, "I was kinda of a dick the other night." Dabi says nothing and Hawks feels like Dabi's piercing turquoise gaze is staring straight into his soul.

"That, uh, wasn't really the best move but I was panicking and-" Dabi shakes his head, there's a wry smile on his mismatched lips and a coldness in his gaze.

"Don't."

"Dabi-"

"Hawks, it's fine. I got over it." Hawks pulls back and knots his eyebrows together in confusion. From all the reading he's done, Hanahaki isn't something that people can just get over from.

"How?" Dabi sighs and drops the cigarette to the ground, quashing it beneath a boot. He lifts up his shirt and shows Hawks an angry red scar that stretches from the middle of his chest and down to meet his scar from when Hawks patched him up earlier in the month.  
Hawks is at a loss of words and gapes at the new scar. Dabi lets his shirt fall back down and shrugs, taking out a new cigarette, his azure fire flickers to life and Hawks is lost in its beauty.

"Boss and the others decided that I was too important to let die, so I got all fixed up." His tone is flat. Dabi peers back down at Hawks from the corner of his eye and takes in a puff of his cigarette.

"Is that all you wanted to talk about?" Hawks' eyes go back to the now hidden scar and hesitantly nods his head. Dabi nods as well and starts to walk away.

"Go back to your life, hero." He's frozen to the spot as Dabi is enveloped in the darkness of the night.

There's a small tickle in the back of his throat and he softly coughs. When he takes his hand away from his mouth, there's a tiny bright blue Forget-Me-Not flower resting in the center of his palm.

* * *

**Author's Note**

I'M SORRY

I had so much fun writing this fic, it was a nice change from my others and I feel like I did okay with writing Hanahaki (hopefully). Half the time I was just winging it but I'm really proud of how it turned out. even if it broke my heart to write there's just too many Hanahaki fics that have a happy ending and I was like: "What do I need more in my life? Ah yes, angst." Hello darkness, my old friend.  
Thank you, everyone for reading this and going on a ride with me towards heartbreak central. It always amazes me on how much support and kind comments I get from all of you!  
Thank you again for reading!  
Until next time, reviews are always welcome!


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